facing life after losing your son

I am still his mother. Your life is forever changed. This is just about the most public way I know of saying: "Thank you - and look out for yourselves.". Howbeit, when my son of twenty-seven years was taken … In the years following my son’s death, I discovered, no matter how great my loss, or how deep my grief, the world does not stop. Whatever works is the answer. I acknowledge, too, that so many people have shown a huge generosity of spirit, cooking food, running errands, putting time and effort into showing they care. My mother found a good deal of support through the organisation "The Compassionate Friends" as you can only really empathise if you've been through a similar situation. In Love, Christie. I am praying for you and your son.Carolyn Smith, Philadelphia, USA. He knows what it means to lose a son. Emily Dickinson's "Hope is the thing with feathers." But children do die. I want to thank them all: from the bloke who installed our boiler to the builders working on our house; from the people at Cardiac Risk in the Young to the journalist Matthew Engel, who responded to my wife's ad hoc letter. After 10 years I still miss him - but, well, you just get used to it...john Stevens, Coggeshall, Truly sad story, but long live Tom's memory. I have a link. My wife had a break-down and I felt the same as you feel now, the sickness deep inside. I don't trust another person's protective instincts. The most unfortunate thing is that we don't know when the owner will need it back. Do they talk about their children or not? I now look at the life of my son and marvel at his 16 years, 3 months, and 10 days. Tom died in his sleep in October this year of an undiagnosed heart-related condition. and "If only?". I'm not looking for "closure", I'm looking for Tom to stay with me in a way that allows me to smile as well as mourn. No child dies without a legacy and a purpose for those that are left behind. Anger, I'm told, is natural at this time. I know, because suddenly, without warning, my life changed. Nick died in 1999 and he was living with his older brother in Dubai and we live in Yorkshire. Today should have been my son's 15th birthday. I struggle to get out of bed. It's like a tsunami of the soul, a huge destructive overwhelming force that leaves nothing good in its wake and whose ripples surge outwards to touch all those who are near you. 01 /11 What happens after you lose your virginity? On the afternoon of Tom's funeral, I drank more than I've done in decades, by my standards enough to sink a battleship. However, it is a journey that I hope I - and we as a family - will continue to go on. I try to confront as much as I can, go to the places he and I used to go, watch what we used to watch together. My prayers are with you, and I admire your bravery in sharing this story in such a public way as I am sure it will help others in the same situation as you are.Nichola Vincendeau, Cranbrook, UK. Keep writing. "; The BBC is not responsible for the content of external internet sites, How the world's oldest clove tree defied an empire, Why Royal Ballet principal Sergei Polunin quit, Tourists flock to 'Jesus's tomb' in Kashmir. He was the first to call me mom. I found him the next morning in his bed, lifeless. We're all walking on eggshells which break without warning. My son … Unimaginable, until it happens to you. I've loved my son and daughter equally, learned from both equally and will continue to both love and learn from them. As we came into in this world so will we be leaving it alone. However, since everyone grieves differently, facing the loss of a child can certainly put strain on a marriage and on each parent's relationship with surviving children. Sometimes, people may lose a loved one after … Life took a big toll on me, not knowing now where to go . Imagine that. One of the most difficult roles for a mother or father after the death and loss of a child is to continue being a parent to the surviving children.

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